Why Are Introverts Considered Rude? (6 Unflattering Reasons)

Nov 23, 2022

Introverts have a negative image in Western society that values people who are social over those that are reclusive and unwilling to obey social rules.

Anyone who is not social is at risk to be considered rude or arrogant.

The assumption is that introverts don’t like to socialize often, because they think they are superior or better than most people, which is not the case!  

Most people prejudge introverts and assume things about them without trying to find the truth as to why they are less likely to be social.

If they tried to ask an introvert, people would understand that in no way are they trying to be impolite or believe their life choice is superior to others in their community. 

In this article we will take a deep dive and investigate all the reasons why introverts are considered rude and the actual reasons behind their actions.

6 Unflattering Reasons Why Introverts Are Considered Rude

1. Introverts tend to avoid initiating a conversation first

Introverts often prefer that the other person starts the conversation first if it’s necessary.

When they decide to begin a discussion, it’s pretty rare, and it has to be worth their time and energy with someone who piques their curiosity.

The only times they come off as rude is when an extravert starts a chat just because they feel they should be polite, and it often doesn’t end well because introverts will feel annoyed.

2. Introverts often don’t smile when making eye contact

Most introverts feel awkward when making eye contact, even if they know the person.

The big reason is that they can’t figure out what to do after eye contact is made since they are not good with social cues. 

Typical introverts will do almost anything to bypass making eye contact while outside in public.

For example, if they are walking by a store or residential area where they know someone, their first instinct is to find another route or walk fast enough to ensure detection is impossible.

Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels

This is especially true if the person they try to avoid makes them feel uncomfortable or doesn’t understand introverts to communicate with them properly. 

Another tactic introverts use to evade eye contact is to act like they are on a phone call and not pay attention to their environment.

All of these are considered rude and arrogant by extraverts.

3. Introverts are usually less skilled at small talk

The art of generic conversations is a difficult skill to master for introverts because they prefer only to talk when they have an opportunity to have intriguing or essential discussions.

As a result, they avoid or walk away from people discussing the weather or the latest celebrity gossip, which comes off as rude to some. 

However, if the conversation is stimulating, they can talk for hours about philosophy, nature, life experiences, best-selling books that challenge the mind, and prolific people involved in current events for hours on end.

They live for conversations that help them grow or help them succeed in their careers or businesses.

4. Introverts are prone to dislike social gatherings

Social gatherings with many people give some introverts anxiety because they don’t know how to behave in an environment with so many things going on.

This inability to thrive and have a good time at crowded parties makes them nervous or edgy, which to someone who doesn’t understand introverts comes off as rude.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

So before attending any get-togethers, introverted friends will ask you, “How many people are going?”

If you invite more than 3 to 5 people, it’s usually a good idea not to offer an invitation.

But if you still want to, it would be wise to warn your introverted friend so they can prepare for the shock and know how to compose themselves.

5. Introverts are less likely to make friends easily

A high percentage of introverts find it challenging to make new friends because they are more closeted with their feelings and emotions than extraverted individuals.

An extravert can talk with someone for an hour or less and make a new friend, but an introvert can struggle with this.

They prefer to take their time and get acquainted with the person without rushing the relationship.

Introverts value privacy and loyalty, so before letting you into their life, there needs to be a point where they can test you to see if you can understand them.

The good news is that if you pass, you are in for a prosperous and rewarding friendship.

6. Introverts tend to be less diplomatic than extraverts

Introverts value honesty and speak only when defending themselves or the people they love.

If they just met you for the first time, they will mostly remain silent, studying what you say and do. 

However, when you say something insulting or go after their friends, they are not shy to tell you exactly how they feel and put you in your place, which will seem harsh to observers.

Therefore, introverts are the best choice for you if you value honesty and sincerity over friends who are diplomatic to avoid facing confrontations.

Conclusion

The first time an outgoing person meets an introvert, they could have a stereotypical first impression.

They wonder why this quiet person is so rude and feels arrogant enough not to want to have a conversation.

But everything changes if they take the time to approach the friendship without pressure and build the fundamentals of a relationship by getting to know each other more. 

Once you get past this stage, you will learn how talkative your introverted friend becomes to the point where they could initiate the conversations more than you. 

The above reasons will allow you to understand your relationship with an introvert better so you can stop prejudging and realize that they have nothing against you by acting the way they do!

INFJ Male

INFJ Male

As a psychologist with a Master's degree in Clinical & Health Psychology, and as an INFJ male, highly sensitive human being, the author aims to blend the objective, subjective, mind, body and spirit for a holistic view on true well-being
for INFJs, Introverts, Highly Sensitive People and Empaths!

ALL POSTS

ALSO ON INFJ MALE PSYCHOLOGY

Curious about more transformative courses?

Explore the Wisdom page for more Enlightening resources!