Why Do Introverts Hate Small Talk? (6 Big Reasons)

Nov 28, 2022

Have you met individuals that hate small talk?

If you think you feel the same way, you may be an introvert. And statistics show that nearly 80% of introverts don’t enjoy small talk, but only 25% of extraverts feel the same way.

The truth is that most introverts do like to talk as long as the conversation is productive or interesting.

Let’s discuss the six reasons introverts dislike small talk and how to avoid falling into this trap when you first meet them!

How To Define Small Talk

Small talk is a conversation you have with another person to be polite about a generic topic that isn’t controversial.

For some, small talk is a way to get your foot in the door when initiating a conversation before getting into more critical discussions.

It also allows you to get to know the person you are having small talk with and build trust.

The purpose of the social function is to extend or start a conversation.

The technical name for this kind of conversation is called phatic communication.

It means communicating for socializing but using topics with little substance or value.

Some people also give it the name “conversational lubricant.”

Examples of Small Talk

The most common small talk topic worldwide is discussing the weather.

For example, if it’s snowing, two or more people will talk about the potency of the storm, how many inches of snow have accumulated so far, how long the snowstorm should last and how cold the temperature is.

Some other worthy topics include culinary discussions, fashions of the times, and what’s currently popular on television.

General conversational topics like these don’t require a high level of education, so anyone can get in on them. 

Still, you don’t get much out of having those discussions, which is why introverts consider them a waste of time.

Instead, they are a way for some people to get their foot in the door to talk about more complex issues.

6 Big Reasons Why Introverts Hate Small Talk

1. Introverts tend to hate small talk, because it’s boring and lacks an end goal

Introverts can’t tolerate small talk because they prefer to have challenging conversations with people that pique their interest and help them learn or grow as individuals.

They are comfortable having these with people who have been vetted as intelligent or close friends with whom they regularly have intellectual discussions. 

When approached with a conversation about the weather or television shows, introverts find a way to get out of them fast or let the person know they are busy and must be going somewhere.

Most introverts despise boredom and feel all conversations should have an expected growth goal to avoid wasting precious time that they could be spending on interesting solo projects.

2. Introverts tend to hate small talk, because it comes off as fake

Sincerity is essential to introverts, who consider small talk something fake people like to do, which is why they avoid it.

If a person they meet is not interested in having an open conversation about topics that matter, they think it’s pointless to waste each other's time.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels

It’s not authentic, and they only respect people who are unafraid to be who they want to be instead of putting on a show and acting a certain way to mislead others about who they are in reality.

So don’t waste an introvert's time with fake small talk because they hate it and will avoid you like the plague.

3. Introverts tend to hate small talk, because they prefer not to socialize

Some introverts hate socializing, so they can’t tolerate small talk for a few minutes.

Others prefer not to have strangers but prefer them unless they are stimulating.

They can approach others but prefer to have them only with those who deem them worthy.

They think introverts are terrified of other people and not confident enough to hold down conversations.

4. Introverts tend to hate small talk, because they are scared of getting caught out

The worst situation for introverts is when they are expected to say something but don’t know what to say.

Introverts need time to get their thoughts together, unlike extraverts that wing it and say whatever comes to mind.

These small talk scenarios make introverts feel less assured in what they want to say, which is why they hate trying to come up with random meaningless conversations.

5. Introverts tend to hate small talk, because it causes energy loss

We all know that energy is a finite resource, and introverts also realize this.

It’s why they prefer to only waste their precious energy on conversations that matter instead of wasting it talking about the weather or the latest Hollywood blockbuster.

Photo by Marcelo Chagas on Pexels

If there are no stimulating conversations to be had with an individual, they prefer to also spend that energy alone on projects that help push their goals forward that they find meaningful.

6. Introverts tend to hate small talk, because it gets in the way of meaningful conversations

Introverts believe that small talk decreases the chances that a fulfilling conversation will occur.

They realize most people use small talk to avoid silence or awkward situations, but sometimes they are necessary if a meaningful interaction will be had.

Before speaking, you must take a moment and attempt to understand the person you will be talking to.

Lastly, introverts despise small talk because they build up a barrier between two individuals and their chances of getting to know each other appropriately.

Fake conversations with the prime goal of seeming polite stop people from opening their hearts and expressing their feelings sincerely.

Conclusion

Introverts hate small talk because they are not productive and waste a lot of time that they could be using on meaningful conversations or alone time.

So if you think it’s a good idea to attempt small talk with an introvert, you shouldn’t bother talking with them unless you have something valuable to share in a dialogue.

They hate this and will avoid you like the plague if you try.

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INFJ Male

As a psychologist with a Master's degree in Clinical & Health Psychology, and as an INFJ male, highly sensitive human being, the author aims to blend the objective, subjective, mind, body and spirit for a holistic view on true well-being
for INFJs, Introverts, Highly Sensitive People and Empaths!

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