Why Are INFJs Seen As Boring? (7 Interesting Reasons)
Jul 3, 2022
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The INFJ is one in 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, making up roughly 1-2 percent of the population. “INFJ” is an acronym which stands for Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F) and Judging (J). These four core characteristics describe the cognitive functions INFJs use the most to navigate through life.
How did the saying go? People who get bored easily are boring? Or was it: people who never get bored, might just be boring? Whatever it was, as natural philosophers INFJs are typically never bored! Yet, in general they do risk being seen as boring by the masses, because of some of their peculiar misunderstood traits. What could these be? Let’s take a closer look!
Why Are INFJs Seen As Boring? (7 Interesting Reasons)
1. INFJs are seen as boring, because they aren’t sensation seekers
It seems that many INFJs were born as Highly Sensitive People (HSP). About 20% of all people are born with a more finely attuned nervous system that picks up on more subtle stimuli.
For instance, vague sounds or suppressed emotional states of others. This allows for a superbly perceptive awareness of tangible and intangible stimuli.
Yet the trade off is being easily overstimulated by the world. As deep feelers with the ability to experience high highs and low lows when it comes to the diverse palette of emotions, HSPs are very much striving to maintain a balanced emotional state to not become overwhelmed on a daily basis.
A typical INFJ is therefore usually trying to avoid sensory overload. You can imagine that with a rich inner world of racing thoughts and images, on top of heightened senses, there’s already more than enough stimulation coming in!
Which leaves weekly late night clubbing, frequent meet ups with groups of people or skydiving out of the picture for the sensitive INFJ!
However, since most people like to seek thrills and sensational social activities to also be able to feel a broader bandwidth of their emotions, they might find the emotionally prudent and sober INFJ pretty boring..
2. INFJs are seen as boring, because they are excellent Self-entertainers
What?! You made a budget plan while listening to some smooth jazz and sipping red wine by yourself last Friday night? Huh?! You were thinking up new video game battle strategies for your World of Warcraft Guild and color coordinated them neatly in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets Saturday evening?
Yikes, you got up at 04:00 AM on Sunday morning to have enough time to work on your online business before you need to return to your 9 to 5 job on Monday? As boring as these INFJ activities sound, ironically most INFJs would need to look up the word “boredom” in a dictionary.
2.1. Bored? Nope, still not a chance!
As fervent dreamers, actionable creators and tireless philosophers, INFJs don’t need much more than their own mind as entertainment. It contains a vivid little universe full of refreshing thoughts, images and ideas traveling at a rapid speed and worth exploring.
Whether it’s an interesting thought that appears out of nowhere while commuting back home from work, a contemplative walk through the park or some idiosyncratic activity like designing video game battle strategies in Excel spreadsheets, it doesn’t really matter.
All of these activities are entertaining regardless, because meanwhile the INFJ’s mind keeps conjuring up theories, perspectives, concepts and reviving memories for them to indulge in! A typical INFJ couldn’t even remember the last time they were bored (except with their mandatory day job they need to keep the lights on at home).
Yes, you might see them sitting in the corner somewhere just staring out the window while drooling. No need to rescue the INFJ, they are in pure bliss!
However, many find it very boring to be by themselves during the weekends, like INFJs are most of the time. Others rather be entertained by the external world and have some company.
Consequently, they see the self-entertaining INFJ as a real bore. YAWN.. Fun fact: all the three scenarios at the beginning are true stories.. (Shout out to my INFJ Male friend and yours truly!)
3. INFJs are seen as boring, because they are structured
The INFJ’s decision making preference (Judging or “J” in INFJ), makes it so that to the outside world, they seem to prefer a planned and orderly way of life. As future oriented beings, they like to predict, strive towards and manifest a desired ideal future.
They have an immaculate gift for pattern recognition and future possibility forecasting, which is powered by their Introverted Intuition (“N” in INFJ). Since the future always remains to be an uncertain, chaotic, and moving abstract/metaphysical place, INFJs prefer to bring life’s uncertainty under control as much as possible.
They tend to get up at set times each day, implement daily routines, make plans by applying goal setting, set up to do lists and work towards task completion in an efficient and consistent manner. By applying a structured approach to life, INFJs create a sense of safety, familiarity, efficiency and control in their day to day lives.
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All of this allows them to mitigate stress from an overwhelming world and helps them keep a healthy state of mind. However, as a consequence any deviations from their routines, or obstacles to their plans are experienced as bothersome.
Even-though, INFJs tend to be very open minded personalities on the inside, they can appear a bit rigid or nonspontaneous in regards to how they operate on the outside. So any last minute invitations to a social gathering, surprise visits to the INFJ’s house or going to the city without a plan is a huge no no to them!
As a result INFJs are seen as boring, because they rather schedule some time in their color coordinated Google Calendar for when to be spontaneous!
4. INFJs are seen as boring, because they are devoted to their life’s purpose
INFJs are always traveling towards their envisioned promised land right on the border of the metaphorical horizon (future). That envisioned promised land is where their highest ideals live.
Authenticity, freedom, altruism, philanthropy, creativity, beauty, wisdom, intellect, dignity, communion, and nurturing relationships (just to name a few). Ideally, INFJs want to manifest all of these ideals in their own lives.
How these ideals concretely manifest might vary from person to person. For instance, one INFJ might manifest their creativity through the practice of 15th century renaissance painting, while another manifests creativity by making modern day electronic music.
4.1. A high standard for life
You might’ve guessed that the idealistic INFJ sets a high standard for their own lives. For example, to achieve the level of artistry of an average renaissance painter or to be a publishing author means a lot of sacrifices need to be made on a regular basis.
It requires consistent discipline and an ironclad work ethic just to make that ideal promised land pop up vaguely in the distance of that metaphorical horizon from time to time as if one is nearing the destination by any quantifiable measure, let alone actually arriving there.
So, instead of living a life of hedonism where people are solely being led by their instincts, impulses and pleasure seeking inclinations, INFJs are constantly struggling with practicing a structured and disciplined life in an attempt to work on their life’s purpose.
Others might classify the INFJ as boring, because to them the INFJ’s plight and devotion to a life’s purpose asks for a boringly sober and repetitively goal oriented lifestyle mostly lived in solitude.
5. INFJs are seen as boring, because they value building a strong moral character
We all fall victim to it from time to time. Indulging in the latest gossip about a certain detestable co-worker, during the daily 4:00 pm gathering around the coffee machine at work.
Or enjoying being recalcitrant for the sake of it and romanticizing a rebel without a cause attitude. Flirting with obnoxious behavior in an attempt to portray what pop culture today deems as most desirable: an “edgy” persona.
INFJs tend to be allergic to rebellious behavior stemming from vanity seeking a spectacle. The INFJ’s tendency for distaste of the romanticized vain acts of rebellion probably already started in puberty.
Often you’ll hear that INFJs didn’t have the infamous phase of teenage insurgence against their parents during adolescence. A phase so many people take pride in.
Alternatively, INFJs most likely started off inhibited, shy, considerate and empathetic which might’ve swayed them off the path of teen rebellion out of compassion for their parents. Instead, they valued building a strong moral character where one always strives to do good while maintaining integrity.
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Now, many INFJs later on in life learned the hard way that there is a time and place to break rules and follow their own path. For instance, when one needs to defend oneself from tyranny, abusive behavior or a toxic relationship/dynamic that’s threatening one’s health and sovereignty.
Comically enough, on a large scale, many INFJs are breaking societal rules of conformity and expectations by taking a sharp left turn from the mundane work life highway, straight into the woods where they slowly forge their own path towards that ideal promised land as mentioned before. But, typically INFJs tend to break rules only when it’s absolutely necessary.
This notion of rebelliousness for the sake of it, which you typically find in teens and students in their early twenties is what many INFJs find very distasteful. Therefore, INFJs are often seen as boring by their peers, because the INFJ’s strong need for integrity and morality often keeps them from misbehaving or pushing the boundaries casually like everyone else.
As a result the INFJ risks being seen as too serious and a boring goody two shoes.
6. INFJs are seen as boring, because they tend to detest Social Media
An endless digital cobweb of airbrushed selfies set to a background of an ominous cacophonous soundtrack of eternal asynchronous seven second video loops. Or “Social Media” in layman’s terms (at least in part).
A digital circus most INFJs try to avoid like a vampire avoids daylight. Now, a typical INFJ might indulge in some forms of Social Media, like Youtube or Reddit. However, this would mainly be to educate themselves on certain topics they really find interesting as those platforms really lend themselves well to in depth content.
The daily symbiosis with smart phones through incessant swiping, chatting, posting, liking on social media platforms and being “social” however.. No.. God no.. According to the private INFJ, nobody needs to know what they are up to.
This constant interaction/reaction to their smartphones reminiscent of a behavioral psychologist’s lab rat will drive an INFJ insane within 24 hours for sure. Sadly, many people are glued to their phone so much because they derive a great sense of their identity from their online broadcasting presence, interactions and validation.
It is common courtesy nowadays that you must reply at least within a few hours to incoming texts, chats or message interactions you didn’t even initiate! And many people aren’t amused you left them hanging like that, because surely they deserve your undivided attention always, right?
That being said, they wouldn’t understand that some people choose to opt out of what’s being deemed as the next step in human “evolution” as societies at large seem to increasingly inhabit an online headspace.
The Internet.. our collective consciousness now digitally available on demand in 4K? While the INFJ might ponder on many of the pros and cons of Social Media and the ethical and health concerns like demonstrated above, mainstream people would find it blasphemous to even think of living without these platforms.
What?! No social media presence, you old dusty INFJ you? Boring!
7. INFJs are seen as boring, because they are slow to warm up
As natural observers and true reclusive introverts, the average INFJ needs some time to get the social cog wheels turning. Despite their capability to develop a strong extraverted side, they need time to adjust their state of mind and often their highly sensitive senses to the social setting at hand.
Who are these people? What are they like? How should I show up in this social setting? Is everybody feeling at ease? How can I keep a harmonious energy flow between everybody participating?
These are not necessarily conscious questions INFJs ask themselves, but split unconscious questions running in the background. They might be in their head a lot before their body, senses, mental and emotional state are in sync with whatever social situation they are in.
They might be a bit distant at first, or pondering a lot about how to answer questions they are asked in a group setting with multiple observers. The INFJ might be quite self-conscious of their body language, voice tonality and how they come across the first 30 minutes or so.
But, after that initial warm up, INFJs (who’ve developed their social skills) are like a train, and will keep on accelerating, as they pick up more and more people to join the train of social harmony. Unfortunately, because INFJs can be slow to warm up, they often have a hard time making a good first impression.
Many people, who are naturally outgoing or classic extraverts are always ready to go the distance socially. They might get bored by the stiff first impression they get from the INFJ and miss out on their bubbly side that often only comes out after an initial warm up.
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