INFJ Male Bio: Adulthood (Age 29-Now)
Myer Briggs Type Indicator: INFJ
I took the Myer Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI test) twice two years back and was both times typed as an INFJ. That I was an Introvert was already out of the question, but to read the description of the traits that are characteristic of this type was a shock.
All those years I felt like I was the weird one that could fit in anywhere, but couldn’t fit in anywhere at the same time. My collection of traits were so idiosyncratic and almost random to me that it never occurred that it was a known personality type.
But here I was reading this long and detailed description of the INFJ like somebody was describing my total life experience up until this point. I thought that I was alone, but there were actually more people dealing with this weird personality?
As I’m aware of the MBTI’s limitations and pseudo science connotations, I don’t use it to make absolute statements. However, it is helpful in describing a collection of traits and making it easier to talk and learn about them.
It also helped me in accepting myself more and opened my eyes to other needs and potential that are waiting to be expressed. This is especially important as I am an INFJ male.
The sad truth is that most of these personality traits aren’t accepted in men. The same can be said for highly sensitive person traits.
Where From Here?: An INFJ Male Rant
My experiences growing up have exposed me to certain hardships which set me on a different course. That innocence and joy I remember up until the age of 6 had left me.
The fear, stress and sadness that I was living with had put me in a different world. It opened my eyes to a painful side of life and what was seen couldn’t be unseen.
As a result there were two levels to my childhood. The first level was the good childhood on the surface as I was taken care of, dressed, fed, loved and all the other things most children have.
The second level was the pain of having to witness pain, anxiety, stress and loss of significant others and carrying my sadness because of it with me always. This turned into my depression.
Quietly in the background tainting my every experience. As such I never was really good at being young. Always being on edge and worrying about everything just took me out of myself and out of the moment.
Trying to survive the perceived threats I saw everywhere and fearing ageing as it dragged me further and further away from the childhood I so longed for.
Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash
INFJ Career Crisis
Now here I am twenty something years later in my thirties still dealing with the aftermath. I have come to see I was still carrying trauma from those years of loss and inner turmoil without realising it.
Another painful realisation was that my reason for becoming a psychologist were actually deeply rooted within the protective role of the pleasing child I had adopted early on.
As if my life unfolded on auto-pilot, with little truly conscious decisions. Through my process I’ve come to realise that there is no time to waste anymore. Who am I? What to do with my needs? What do I want for my life? How can I be at my best? How can I contribute to the world?
I’ve gone through the motions of the traditional route of going to school, getting a degree and trying to get a job.
This hasn’t really worked for me the last seven years. I am now in the midst of what’s called an INFJ career crisis.
Next to the short term contracts that last a year tops, somehow my personality is just not that fit to thrive in the 9 to 5 structure as it has led to burn-out, bore out symptoms and relentless job hopping in most cases.
As a child and teenager I felt like a prisoner of my own mind. Now that I feel I have escaped most of that, what’s the point of entrapping myself in an environment that doesn’t work for me.
Of course, money needs to be made, people have families to support, society needs to function, I get all that. However, personally I must find another way in de midst of all that. My highly sensitive person traits demand another mode of being.
Time is Running Out
As time just seems to fly by and our planet’s health is rapidly deteriorating our time on this planet is getting shorter fast.
It is time to be honest with ourselves and be completely authentic in the way we live our lives and how we can maintain a harmonious existence for our planet and our future’s sake.
It is time to be honest with ourselves, to look inside and bring forth who we truly are or truly want to be. Perhaps for the first time in history inner transformation isn’t a luxury, but a necessity.
To change our rigid and destructive ways to save the planet and ultimately the human race, an enormous amount of inspiration and energy is needed.
Only when we are living as authentic and aware as possible can we generate that. With this blog I try to do my part. I invite you to come with me on this journey, our journey of growth, awareness, inspired action and inner peace. The time is now..
Food For Thought
Is there something that you are not honest about to yourself?
What do you think is crucial to saving our planet?
What is your personality type? Take the MBTI test!