5 Reasons Why INFJs Are So Intense
As cool, calm and collected INFJs are known to be, they also seem to have a pervasive enigmatic intensity. This intense side makes it sometimes hard to interact with them. INFJs themselves are often also strongly affected by this intensity, as it can lead to health problems in the long run when it is not properly channeled.
That’s why it’s important to understand the different ways where this intensity can come from and how we can manage it in healthy ways. So without further ado, here are 5 Reasons Why INFJs Are So Intense.
5 Reasons Why INFJs Are So Intense
1. INFJs can be Intense, because of their Insatiable Curiosity
One thing we know for certain is that INFJs like to know! Their minds can be extremely curious and they let that curiosity take them anywhere really. Like an enthusiastic dog pulling its master towards whatever interesting thing it smells. Luckily however, many times the attention span of the INFJ mind isn’t that short as the dog’s. Nor does it need a lot of thrilling, flashy nor hectic events to stay entertained.
The INFJ is often very much interested in substantial topics. Particularly abstract and paradoxical topics that you can’t really figure out in a day nor weeks/months even. The INFJ’s curiosity is like a fire that preferable only concerns itself with the big charcoal briquettes at the bottom of the barbecue. A long slow burning fire, gradually burning up the heavy pieces of charcoal, but in intense heat.
They are known to indulge in existential subjects, like psychology, philosophy, ethics, arts and even complex technical sciences, like computer science or engineering. Here’s also where the contradictory nature of the INFJ is evident, because one can be interested in both arts and data science and practice it at the same time. One does not exclude the other.
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All of the above make this personality type intense, because they’re always learning, diving into those heavy topics at the same time. It’s not uncommon for them to be reading a few books parallel to each other. When something grabs their interest it is like they are under a spell. The enthusiasm that awakens when interesting novel ideas and beautiful concepts strike them, has led to countless sleepless nights.
They immerse themselves in the subject matter and aren’t satisfied until they understand its core. So they feed their minds daily only to be satiated after absorbing a subject’s essence. They do this by reading books, articles or watching videos (the same ones and new ones) over, and over and over again. An INFJ has to be careful when they are in the midst of these frequent knowledge binge modes, because the sheer intensity of them (especially when a few are happening at the same time) has led to burn-out for many.
For instance, when I started this blog, I knew nothing about websites nor blogging. I was very excited about it and wanted to learn. I built my website, while learning about all aspects of websites and blogging, which led to an intense month in which I spent 16 hours a day doing this. I was so immersed that I even forgot to eat.
I just couldn’t stop because I was so engaged, until my body had let me know I needed to take a break. So right after the website was finished and live, I had a stress attack and for weeks was unable to do any writing or anything that asked of me to concentrate longer than 30 minutes. The INFJ’s curiosity is no joke.
2. INFJs can be Intense, because they Feel they have Little Time in this Life
Time.. Time is everything, to everyone. “Life is short”, they say, so live it to the fullest. Something we all deep down understand on a certain level. INFJs are highly likely to have a peculiar relationship with time as well. As discussed in Another 5 INFJ Male Problems, many times they are late bloomers, meaning they come into their own rather later in life on average.
Figuring out our paradoxical nature is already a handful, let alone exploring how to fit our unconventional personality in society in such a way that we remain true to our INFJ selves. When we finally have a little understanding of who we are and built some courage to truly own that, we might already be in our late thirties. Some would even argue that this is a young age to reach such a point. We can be intense, because as late bloomers we feel we have little time in this life.
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Others can feel this intensity, by us talking a lot about the concept of time and in the way we live our lives. As we mature and gradually surrender ourselves to our dawning innate INFJ needs for self-expression, beauty, autonomy and harmony, we get a glimpse of how absolutely precious and miraculous life can be. Tending to those needs gets us deeper into that realization, which leads to two more epiphanies.
One, that we were actually suppressing those needs for most of our lives, because of shame or trying to fit in. Two, that if we want to reach our dreams and goals that come forth out of those needs, we need to give it everything we have. So the later part of the INFJ’s journey often becomes an intense attempt to make up for lost time and reach the blissfulness of life we’ve had glimpses of with an unwavering devotion. Next to love, our aspirations and visions are also powered by a visceral existential feeling of the impermanence of all life. Why do INFJs like sad songs you ask?
3. INFJs can be Intense, because they are Always Focussed on the Deeper Side of Things
Always trying to understand everything fully and grasping something’s essence is a beautiful thing. Digging deeper for the underlying principles of interesting intellectual concepts, and the essence of novel creative ideas is like a treasure hunt for the INFJ. But our ardent minds tend to look for treasure even in places where it perhaps can’t be found. Meaning we might try to find a deeper meaning in something that just plainly hasn’t. That’s why the INFJ can be seen as intense, because they seek deeper meaning in everything. A co-worker might have a little small-talk with an INFJ and say that they feel a bit sad today.
A classic INFJ response would be to tirelessly inquire and speculate about what the reasons of feeling sad could be (which according to them might be some hidden trauma from childhood that’s still haunting the co-worker and the reason he or she discloses this to the INFJ is that the co-worker thinks the INFJ is good at reading people, hinting that the INFJ should quit the current job as a salesperson and become a psychologist, which the INFJ was already thinking blah-blah-blah..).
While actually the co-worker is just sharing feelings of sadness. Nothing more to it. The relentless digging for deeper meaning in everything can really be experienced as intense by other personalities. Especially if those personality types aren’t wired to concern themselves so much with existential concepts that are often frightening to think about (life and death). But to the INFJ, understanding underlying principles or the nature of phenomena is important to be able to infer a wide array of possible scenarios within a given area, instead of only going by facts.
To us it’s more about how you think, which will carry what you think. That deeper understanding is also where we can start to use our creativity, because then our creative minds can play with every aspect we understand. We are very much aimed at beauty, efficiency and effortlessness in everything we do, but to do so we must understand something thoroughly.
4. INFJs can be Intense, because of their Perfectionism
As idealists, striving for the most ideal situations sometimes comes with its necessary perfectionism. INFJs often approach situations in a holistic way, meaning that they consider many aspects of something and try to make sure everything is right. However, because they want everything right it can be quite paralyzing. Not only due to this being very hard and practically impossible of course, but also because of the amount of work the INFJ then sees ahead.
For instance, they might want to start to learn to play the piano, because they love how it enables them to express oneself. Inspired by a great pianist they saw on television or Youtube, they aim to be able to play close to that same level of that pianist. At the same time, they think to do everything right, they must first learn all of music theory. Their perfectionism makes them learn about all the different chords and the endless possibilities, wanting to know the most beautiful chord progressions so they can start from the top.
This might take months before they actually start playing the piano. Now, of course this is a thorough approach, but it prohibits INFJs often from just starting casually and having fun with what they actually want to do as they go. If anything, you don’t need to be an excellent pianist to enjoy expressing yourself playing the piano. Nor does anyone expect us to. INFJs can be intense, because of their perfectionism they tend to unwarrantedly sentence themselves to loads of often unnecessary work.
It unjustifiably complicates things that just simply aren’t complicated. You can see that if one applies this approach to almost anything, it can be quite discouraging to even start something new, due to it always being preceded by a tedious research phase. Being thorough is a great thing, but we need to get out of our ceaseless minds and into our bodies more by just starting our projects and learning as we go.
5. INFJs can be Intense, because they let their Intuition Guide them
The awakened INFJ has an intense passion for life. As strong thinkers and strong feelers, we make decisions also heavily based on our feelings. We do things that tend to feel right to us on a deeper level. We might be trying to decide whether it’s a good idea to take a certain job. When the factual knowledge like salary, benefits and other pros and cons add up to a positive sum, our feelings are decisive. Our feelings answer with a visceral response, when deciding what to do.
For instance, when we take in the information of the job description, our bodies start to radiate warm feelings of enthusiasm from deep inside. It is as if we are suddenly immersed in a nice warm bath. We then know on a feeling level that it is the right thing to take the job. What’s more is that this feeling is often the final answer after every information has been taken in. But, sometimes this feeling is already there, before we make ourselves familiar with the available information.
So, it seems to work together with our logical mind, but often goes rogue on an intuitive whim. Making decisions based on such intuitive feelings, might make our social circle think we are recklessly taking huge risks. Of course such seemingly impulsive behavior could be regarded as intense and compulsive even. However, as INFJs we understand the difference between impulsive decisions and this intuitive knowing that guides our lives. To us it would be actually reckless to let our decisions be guided solely by our rational minds.
Despite the calm presence of INFJs, they can actually be really intense in many ways. Perhaps, it is the passion they have for the things that they love, that is what gives this personality type its charm. We should strive to harness the power of this passion so that it can be applied in constructive ways.
Food For Thought
1. What are some of the other ways INFJs can be intense?
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